Stoned Citizen

Category: Recipes

How to cook using a recipe like a stoned citizen.

  • Cannabis Crème Brûlée – A Creamy Custard Dessert With A Hard Caramelized Top To Get Baked On

    Cannabis Crème Brûlée – A Creamy Custard Dessert With A Hard Caramelized Top To Get Baked On

    Dessert means something different to every individual, greatly impacted by culture, tradition and personal preference. I often find myself daydreaming of the decadent dessert that is made up of a chilled baked custard centre and a delicate caramel crust; the Crème brûlée. Also known as burned, burnt or Trinity cream; this dessert is a true mark of elegance and one of the hallmark desserts of Paris. 

    Admittedly, making this decadent dessert at home can be relatively intimidating, but it does not have to be! We have formulated an easy-to-follow recipe to make the perfect DIY Crème brûlée that is infused with cannabis, of course – Crème brû-Yay!

    CREME BRULEE

    Crème brûlée is a French name that translates to burnt cream is a delicious dessert that has a rich custard base and is topped with a thin hard caramel layer, almost always served chilled. The pudding portion of this dessert should be trembling and tender, yet be rich and creamy. In contrast, the hard caramel layer should be evenly torched and distributed over the entire surface. When digging into this dessert the first step is to crack the caramelized layer with the back of a spoon and then digging straight down to get a spoonful of set custard centre and cracked caramel. 

    Cannabis Creme Brulee Hero

    The origin and history of the dessert called crème brûlée is vastly disputed, the earliest known recipe appears in the 1691 cookbook; Cuisinier Royal er Bourgeois by François Massialot. Some authors have suggested that it was inspired by the Crema Catalana, a virtually identical dessert with Spanish origins that date back to the 14th century. Crema Catalana first appeared in a cookbook in 1745 by Juan de Altamiras. The key difference between these similar desserts is that the Crema Catalana is made with milk and thickened with cornflour, whereas the French counterpart does not require a thickening agent as it is made with cream.

    CREME BRULEE DAY

    Eating crème brûlée

    The United States celebrates these delectable baked custard desserts on National Crème Brûlée Day annually on July 27. Although the exact origin of the baked custard dessert is shrouded in mystery, Sirio Maccioni is said to be responsible for the popularization of the mouth-watering dessert in the USA during the 1980s. Celebrate this day of decadence the right way, by making your own crème brûlée. Or do a quick internet search for “Creme brulee near me” and go on a dessert run.

    CANNABIS CREME BRULEE

    Torching A Creme Brulee

    There are a number of easy-to-follow recipes to make Crème brûlée at home, some recipes are specifically designed to be made in a crockpot, other recipes are designed to be dairy-free. If you have a recipe that works for you, you could very simply substitute the granulated sugar with cannabis sugar to turn this classic into a dopey dessert!

    CREME BRULEE CANNABIS STRAIN

    Cannabis Strain Named After The Dessert

    The very best marijuana strain to use in your cannabis-infused crème brûlée is Creme Brulee if you can get your hands on some of course! The Indica dominant strain is made by crossing Platinum Kush with OG Kush and Girl Scout Cookies. As the name suggests, Creme Brulee has a sweet dessert smell with earthy aromas and tones of vanilla, coffee and roasted nuts. The Creme Brulee strain will almost immediately calm you down and bring on a feeling of euphoria and complete relaxation; alleviating stress and eliminating anxiety. Although many stoned citizens have reported feeling energetic and uplifted, Creme Brulee could quickly become sedative and easily put you to sleep. Perfect for a dagga dessert!

  • Cook Like A Gangster: Make Spaghetti And Meatballs Like The Doggfather

    Cook Like A Gangster: Make Spaghetti And Meatballs Like The Doggfather

    Stirring a pot of extra-long noodles with one hand and holding a joint in the other, Snoop adds the ghetto to spaghetto. The Dogg takes a classic mobster recipe from the Godfather’s cookbook and show the mafia how to make spaghetti and meatballs like The DoggFather.

    Snoop Dogg’s Spaghetti de la Hood serves as a shout-out to his homies. To cook like a gangster, one needs to understand that things are made a little different in the hood. While some prepare the sauce and pour it over the pasta and add the meatballs separately, “we ain’t got time for all that,” the Doggfather writes in his recipe book From Crook to Cook. Damn straight!! Work smarter, not harder, right!? This is ghetto gourmet at its best.

    Take this drink and hit this weed

    If you living the American Dream, then 19 Crimes Cali Red is the be-all-end-all wine to pour with a plate of Spaghetti de la Hood. For those who don’t, give praise and keep it real Dogg! SUPPORT LOCAL!!

    As for the weed, exercise your freedom of choice. A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe.

    If pasta is not your thing, you can make tacos with a soft touch like Snoop Dogg.

  • Hot And Spicy Pot Poppers To Tickle Your Taste Buds

    Hot And Spicy Pot Poppers To Tickle Your Taste Buds

    Quarantine cuisine has become one of the hottest topics on the internet ever since Covid-19 disrupted our lives and forced the world into lockdown. Social media feeds are flooded with images of bizarre meals that are so wrong they’re right. From honeycomb pasta to baked sushi, home cooks have come up with some insane recipe ideas and dishes.

    The “Spicy Revolution” is the latest obsession among culinary trendsetters. What’s at the center of the spicy obsession? The ever-versatile Jalapeño chili pepper. When compared to other spicy chili peppers, it has a great crunch and thickness for jalapeño poppers.

    The History Of Jalapeño Poppers

    Just like other retro party treats, Jalapeño poppers originated sometime in the 1980s. On April 30, 1992, the phrase “jalapeño popper” was trademarked by Anchor Food Products. Heinz later acquired the name and began to distribute ready-made jalapeño poppers in a frozen form. All consumers had to do was deep fry the peppers until cooked.

    The popularity of chilli poppers stems in large part from their brilliant combination of ingredients. The cheesy filling helps to cut down on the heat of the jalapeño, making the popper more palatable. The fried exterior gives the popper a nice crunch, while the inside has a deliciously creamy consistency.

    Turn Up The Heat With Pot Poppers

    Stuffed pot poppers are a firm favourite when it comes to spicy snacks. In their simplest form, a popper contain a mixture of cheeses and spices. In some cases, the stuffing may even contain ground meat. In this case, we are adding canna cream cheese that will get your taste buds and mind buzzing.

  • Make Green Prawn Bisque Like A Proper Eco-Chef

    Make Green Prawn Bisque Like A Proper Eco-Chef

    Put sustainability at the heart of your cooking and make a green prawn bisque like a proper eco-chef. Mindful stoned citizens with a refined taste for expensive goods and haute cuisine will appreciate this French classic. Effortless and made with the planet in mind, this green prawn bisque is in all essence conscious luxury in a bowl!

    What exactly is bisque?

    For those who pick hamburgers before pies, bisque is a thick and creamy soup made with shellfish. Culinary legend Julia Child was one of the first celebrity cooks that showed the world you don’t have to be perfect to make a perfect dish. Her famous Bisque De Homard A L’americane’ recipe in her cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking is a culinary masterpiece. Julia writes that the trick to perfecting bisque lies in the broth and butter. Now we are not talking Knorr stock and Rama margarine people, please!! To cook bisque like a Masterchef, you do need to make your own broth AND butter from the shells of the crayfish. Better to start cracking then!!

    Life itself is the proper binge, didn’t skimp on the good stuff in life or in the kitchen

    Julia Child

    Taking Tips From The Trade

    Taking a page from Julia’s bible, Executive Sous Chef at The Table Bay Wesli Charles Jacobs creates dishes defined by quality, not quantity. Not a bad rule of thumb to follow, especially after FAO reports reveal that one-third of the food produced in the world is never eaten and simply wasted. Adapting the zero-waste movement, whose motto is: Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Rot.

    With prawn bisque, you are guaranteed zero wastage as you will make use of the entire prawn and not just the meat.

    Executive Sous Chef at The Table Bay hotel
    Wesli Charles Jacobs, the Executive Sous Chef at The Table Bay hotel in Cape Town, South Africa.

    Feeding two birds with one scone

    Built from ingredients that most restaurants would toss into the trash, his prawn bisque recipe demonstrates that resourceful, sustainable kitchen practices are perfectly compatible with the highest level of quality. Even more so, you can pull it off with very little effort, making it an post-pandemic pot party essential!

  • A Foolproof Cannabis Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe That Guarantees Perfection Every Time

    A Foolproof Cannabis Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe That Guarantees Perfection Every Time

    Few things are as deliciously heartwarming as munching down on a batch of freshly baked cookies that are loaded with bits of sweet chocolate. Unless of course, they have a secret ingredient. An ingredient that is sure to lift your spirits, even if the smell of warm chocolaty cookies did not already put a smile on your face. A freshly baked chocolate chip cookie is simply my favourite way to eat my greens!

    BUDDING BAKER

    Cannabis Chocolate Chip Cookies Dipped White Chocolate

    A few weeks ago our apartment building hosted a block party to celebrate newlyweds, bid farewell to old friends and meet the neighbourhood newcomers. As part of the arrangements, each apartment was tasked with preparing a snack and a beverage that would best represent each of their personalities. I decided that dagga koekies (which translates to cannabis cookies from Afrikaans) and don pedros would best portray my pot persona. So I got baked, assembled the ingredients and made a batch of these foolproof cannabis-infused chocolate chip cookies.

    PERFECTION

    Chocolate Chip Cookies

    A freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookie should be warm, tender yet crunchy and instantly put a smile on your face. The perfect pot cookie should be golden brown and crispy on the outside, have a gooey chocolate chip filled centre and have the faintest taste of cannabis-infused coconut oil.

    DOSAGE

    Cookie Dough

    The amount of cannabis-infused coconut oil used in this recipe is a suggested guide to make 20 medicated cookies. We recommend starting with one biscuit, half if you are new or nervous, and top up with another after waiting at least an hour. The golden rule of edibles is to start low and go slow. If indeed you are planning a more potent batch next time, you can substitute more butter with the amount of cannabis-infused coconut oil you wish to add.

    Pile of Chocolate Chip Biscuits

    If the onslaught of the global pandemic did not drive you to baking banana bread and sourdough loaves, perhaps the guarantee of deliciously dank space cookies would finally get you baking. This recipe for cannabis chocolate chip cookies is easy to follow, quick to make and bake and delicious every time!

    TOKER’S TIP

    Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich

    Turn your marijuana morsels into a mind-blowing treat. Half the size of the cookie dough before baking and wedge a scoop of your favourite ice cream between two biscuits to turn your cookies into an ice-cream sandwich. Perhaps, you too would feel the need to drizzle this dessert with stoner chocolate sauce. Delightful dagga decadence!

  • Make Tacos With A Soft Touch Like Snoop Dogg

    Make Tacos With A Soft Touch Like Snoop Dogg

    Snoop Dogg likes to chow. He also likes to share. The man’s got that soft touch, you know what I’m saying? Tha Dogg first cookbook is a testament to Snoopy’s love for food. It’s also a go-to guide for stoners with the munchies, jam-packed with recipes ranging from candied bacon fit for a billionaire to Bow Wow Brownies. There’s also Tha Soft Touch Tacos, which might sound like a mission to make when baked, but trust Tha Boss Dogg on this – it’s easy as pie!

    Shout out to eMeals, who made it possible for all stoners to dine like the Doggfather. The company join(t)ed forces with Snoopy’s 19 Crimes wine brand, delivering an online collection of recipes from Crook to Cook: Platinum Recipes from Tha Boss Dogg’s Kitchen.

  • Retro Snacks For Stoners Who Love Bacon

    Retro Snacks For Stoners Who Love Bacon

    Retro snacks are making a comeback. Evoking nostalgic thoughts of childhood, retro snacks to centre stage on any party table in the 1970s. Some classic retro bites disappeared altogether, while the more munch worthy tidbits stood the test of time.

    Bacon was one of the star ingredients in the food of yesteryear. The timeless cured meat dates back to the Roman Empire when it was called petaso. Today, bacon exists in pretty much every type of food and industry. From bacon salt to bacon-printed clothing and dope donut burgers layered with bacon, there’s just no end to the greatness of bacon. Considering it has been around for centuries, and its popularity still hasn’t plateaued despite the health-conscious age we find ourselves in, it’s a miracle that bacon hasn’t lost its groove.

    Get ready for a trip down memory lane as we present the most munch-worthy retro snacks for stoned citizens who loves bacon.

    Devils on horseback

    A snack that disappears before making it to the table, Devils on horseback are a crowd favourite and rightfully so! The devious treat is made with sweet prunes are wrapped in smoky, salty bacon and roasted until crisp.

    Bacon-Wrapped Mozzarella Sticks

    Known as the ultimate party food we all crave for, this appetizer is quick to make and only require two ingredients – melty cheese and salty bacon.

    Bacon Shots With Whisky

    Bacon shot glasses dipped in chocolate and filled with whisky. Life cannot get much better than this! While the shot glasses are a little time-intensive to make, these tasty treats are worth the effort and are sure to leave a lasting impression.

  • Have Your Beer And Eat It With Chocolate Cupcakes Spiked With Guinness

    Have Your Beer And Eat It With Chocolate Cupcakes Spiked With Guinness

    Who says you cannot have your beer and eat it? If you dub yourself a beer and chocolate cake lover, then the following Guinness facts might tickle your fancy. A buttload of Guinness gets consumed on St. Patrick’s Day. Guinness reports that people in a whopping 150 countries will sip the smooth stuff on St. Patrick’s Day. As many as 13,000,000 pints of beer will be consumed worldwide on the holiday alone. That’s a whopping 819% more Guinness than usual!

    The Relationship Between Guinness and St. Patrick’s Day

    The tradition of drinking Guinness on St. Patrick’s Day dates back all the way to 1759, according to the company. 262 years ago, Arthur Guinness signed a 9,000-year lease for the St. James’s Gate Brewery and started brewing ale. Soon after, a new English drink— a strong black beer called porter — hit a sweet spot among the citizens of Dublin. By 1799, Sir Arthur Guinness made the decision to stop brewing ales all together and focus solely on porter.

    In celebration of Arthur Guinness and the gang, you can have your beer and eat it on St Patrick’s Day with these magnificent cupcakes drenched in damp blackness.

  • This Baguette Pizza Recipe Will Fill The Pizza-Shaped Hole In Your Belly When The Munchies Come Knocking

    This Baguette Pizza Recipe Will Fill The Pizza-Shaped Hole In Your Belly When The Munchies Come Knocking

    Baguette Pizza seems to be all the rave at the moment, or perhaps I missed its arrival on the mainstream food scene. Either way, I was delighted to stumble across this genius idea! Imagine having all the ingredients to make your favourite stoner snack right in your kitchen, every time you have a desire to wolf down a small pizzeria. You know? When you get the munchies! This recipe is more of a planned strategy to satisfy your begging belly!

    Neon pizza sign

    Pizza is traditionally a savoury dish of flattened dough topped with tomatoes, cheese and a number of other ingredients before it gets baked in a wood-fired oven. It is one of the most popular dishes across the globe and comes in different shapes and sizes. Pizza has been a stoner staple for as long as the doughy delight has been delivered to the doors of stoners across the globe! The topping combination could be just about anything your hazy head could conjure up with what you have available when hunger strikes. 

    Pizza delivery vehicle
    Fit For A Queen

    The first dish that was known as “pizza” was prepared by bakers in Naples in the 1600s. A slice of pizza was sold as street food to poor Neapolitans and was often eaten on the go. During a visit to the newly unified Italy in 1889, Queen Margherita was presented with a pizza of red tomato sauce, white mozzarella and green basil; mimicking the Italian flag. The Queen adored the pizza and it was later named after her.  

    Classic Pizza Margarita with tomatoes, mozzarella and basil

    Even though foods similar to pizza have been made since the Neolithic Age (roughly 12 000 years ago), modern pizza was brought to the United States with Italian immigrants in the late nineteenth century. The first pizzeria in the United States was opened by Gennaro Lombardi in 1905 in Manhattan. Even though Lombardi’s has moved from its original location, the pizzeria is still operational and using the original oven since they opened. 

    Frozen pizza has come a long way since its humble beginnings, but nothing could beat a freshly baked Baguette Pizza to satisfy your midnight munchies! Smothered in rich tomato sauce, stacked with as much (or as little) of your favourite toppings and dripping with melted cheese. 

    Let’s get down to business! The elements we need to have at the ready are baguettes for the base, a jar of prepared tomato sauce and your favourite toppings! 

    BREAD
    Fresh baguettes prepared

    Freshly baked store-bought French loaves are first prize but stale or frozen bread works when it comes to the munchies. You could have a baguette waiting for you in the freezer and they defrost fairly quickly while you get everything else together. You could choose to slice the bread in rounds to make smaller party-size pizzettes or down the middle to make a bigger pizza. The bread crust will slightly crisp-up and the soft interior will absorb the sauce and the deliciousness from the toppings. Be careful of using too much sauce as it will turn your baguette pizza into a soggy mess!

    SAUCE
    Homemade tomato sauce

    I make a big batch of tomato sauce to be stored in the refrigerator and be ready when the tummy starts growling. If you are a disaster in the kitchen you can use a good quality store-bought sauce. You want to make sure the sauce has the consistency of tomato paste. I start off with browning chopped carrots, onions, garlic and thyme before deglazing the pot with some red wine vinegar and loading it with tomatoes! The sauce should cook for at least an hour, blended and strained into a jar labelled Munchy Sauce. 

    TOPPINGS

    What you choose to top your pizza with will depend on what you have available when assembling your pizza. Perhaps you have ingredients specifically destined for the inevitable midnight munching. Sliced ham, pineapple and mozzarella all in a row by the jar of Munchy Sauce. Or, maybe you love the challenge of coming up with an unconventional topping combination when you are baked! Crispy bacon, caramelized onions, feta cheese, corn salsa and… Well, the list can go on and you can get creative as you allow yourself to be, grab some leftovers and be imaginative. 

    GETTING BAKED
    Prepared baguette pizza

    Adjust the oven rack to the centre position and heat the oven to 220 C. Baguette Pizza bakes fairly quickly, normally within 15 to 20 minutes, however, it will depend on the toppings you have selected. Some ingredients may need extra cooking time. Check on your French loaf pizza frequently and take it out when the cheese is bubbly and the bread crisp. It is worth mentioning that no two ovens are the same, so it is best to keep a hawk’s eye on your pizza baby when trying this for the first time. 

  • Effortless Breakfast Sarnie With Microgreens

    Effortless Breakfast Sarnie With Microgreens

    If you just so happen to have a craving for a simple and effortless breakfast that’s super comforting and appetizing then we’ve got you covered. Soul-satisfying food doesn’t have to be a fancy Crayfish Benedict that takes time and effort. If you need to state your hunger and deal with the munchies, then this effortless recipe is a go-to meal for lazy dayz.

    Make it fancy

    Zhoosh up this breakfast sanrie by tossing some microgreens over the top for some extra crunch. Not only do they add an extra pop of color to the plate, but microgreens also taste great. They are also easy to grow and let’s face it; few things beat feeding yourself with something you grew yourself.