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Stoner Life Hacks For The Cannabis Consumer In The 21st Century

Stoner Life Hacks In The 21st Century

Few of life’s pleasures are as rewarding as winding down with a fat joint with a cold beer in hand and the sweet sounds of your favourite music legend in the background. For me at least! Perhaps you prefer smoking a bong or vaporizer? Maybe you prefer watching Adult Swim or playing video games? Whatever your ritual is around consuming cannabis or the level of experience you have; accidents can happen! Life can get in the way and you may run into some hurdles along the way. We have compiled a list of the ultimate Stoner Life Hacks to keep handy for whatever life throws your way.

Even though every Stoned Citizen has their own tips and tricks they swear by, sometimes you might find yourself in a bind and struggling to wrap, light or actually smoke your marijuana. This list of ultimate Stoner Life Hacks is sure to have a solution for any problem you might come across in your cannabis endeavours.


Take A Whiff 
Take a Whiff - Pineapple in a bicycle basket

Cannabis enhances your senses! The Olfactory receptors in your nasal passages are linked to your endocannabinoid system, which is the receptors in the brain that interacts with the cannabinoids in marijuana. Tropical fruits will smell a whole lot more amazing and even enhance your high. Let’s be reel, who does not want to be stoned to the bone smelling and eating a fragrant tropical fruit? Mangos, papaya or pineapple? Take your pick and enjoy the sensory overload.

Cottonmouth Jo
Cottonmouth Jo - Stoned Citizen with lollipop

Your mouth is bone dry and your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth, swallowing is difficult and might even seem impossible at this stage. When the THC in cannabis attaches to the submandibular glands, the bilateral salivary glands in the face, it stops the glands from receiving neurotransmitter messages to produce more saliva. Simply chewing gum or sucking on a lollipop, or any other hard candy will stimulate additional saliva production to combat the dryness in your mouth! Sour sweets are our favourite to get a good drool going! 

Suck It Up
Suck It Up - Cleaning in progress sign

From the moment you have ground up your cannabis flowers to when you have lit the green, there are a bunch of disastrous scenarios that could leave your cannabis all over the floor. Do not fret, pull a sock or stocking over the end of your vacuum cleaner hose and suck up the ground flowers. The sock keeps the weed from going into the vacuum and once you have something in place to catch the weed, simply turn it off! Just like that, you get a second chance to roll that joint.

Zesty Refresh
Zesty Refresh - Orange and lemon zest

Sometimes you just do not make it through your stash before it starts drying out a bit to much. We believe it is good practice to keep cannabis in a glass jar in a cool dark place to keep it as fresh as possible. If you notice your cannabis flowers are a bit to dry, this stoner life hack is for you. Add a few slivers of zest from any citrus fruit to your stash jar with the dried herb. The water molecules in the fruit peels will contribute to a unique micro-climate in your stash jar, breathing some new zesty life into your dry bud! 

Every Last Crumb 
Stoner Life Hacks Kief Extraction

Kief is a trichome rich cannabis dust that collects in the intricacies of your grinder and in the kief collection chamber. The dank dust has a whole bunch of cannabinoids, terpenes and flavonoids that you definitely do not want to miss out on! It could turn into quite a daunting task to collect all the sticky kief and actually use it. Placing your grinder in the freezer overnight will make the trichomes more brittle and it will be a whole lot easier for it to separate from the metal. Not only is it easier to harvest the kief but you will get a bigger yield.

Zero Waste Policy 
Stoner Life Hacks Save Your Stems

Be sure to collect most of the trim, shake, sticks and stems during your cannabis adventures. Once you have filled a small jar with these “off-cuts” you could decarboxylate it, top it off with pure grain alcohol and make your very own Green Dragon Tincture. Or perhaps you will make cannabis-infused coconut oil and try your hand at making edibles? You could even brew a pinch with your favourite loose leaf tea for the ultimate High tea.

Juice Cleanse 
Stoner Life Hacks Lemon Juice to Clean Bongs

When your bong has seen better days, and you reminisce of the days when you could still see through your glass smoking device. Maybe it is your first bong and you are yet to be imparted with the wisdom of weed wizardry. Whatever the reason, stop procrastinating and show that baby some love! Lemon juice and warm water work wonders to remove the resin and leave that glass as sparkly as the day you got it. No special chemicals or cleaning devices. Simply allow the lemon water to break down the resin, pour off the dirty water, rinse and use pipe cleaners and paper towels to wipe it down. 

Bee Resourceful Honey
Bee Resourceful Honey Fingers In Honey Pot

Honey has been around for thousands of years, prehistoric humans were very aware of its medicinal properties. You might be in a tight spot when you reach for the honey pot, but you might also be in a great creative space. You can use honey to stick down the ends of stubborn unravelling joints or create a Honey Blunt masterpiece. A joint will burn slower and more evenly by rubbing a bit of honey on the outside of the joint. It is delicious, smooth and no more canoeing joints! Spice up your honey joint with a decent kief dusting or try your hand at rolling a rose petal joint. The most delicious of all the stoner life hacks.

Munch Not
Munch Not, chew gum to keep hunger at bay

When the weed is rocking and the munchies come knocking! Most stoners have often become a slave to their tummies, funnelling food in weird combinations down their throats, desperately trying to fill the gaping hole. The munchies are a common phenomenon as THC stimulates the part of your brain that tells you, YOU ARE HUNGRY. To make matters worse, cannabis makes food taste and smell even better as it increases your cognitive perceptions! If you have a need to avoid constantly stuffing your face; chewing on some gum or sucking on mints will help keep the hunger at bay! Otherwise, try making this Baguette Pizza recipe to fill satisfy all of your cravings.

Pennywise, pill container and cannabis

There could be many different scenarios you may find yourself in when you need to break down your cannabis flowers before rolling a joint or packing a bowl. Maybe your grinder is in the freezer as a part of Operation Kief Extraction? Whatever the reason, if you have misplaced your grinder there are a few options. Reach for a small glass and a pair of scissors, a chopping board and a knife or your lucky coin. Loosely break the cannabis from the stems and place it in an empty pill bottle, along with your lucky coin. As you shake it about the coin will start breaking down the cannabis as it knocks about inside the pill container. An analogue process that may take some time, but it works!

An Apple A Day
Apple Pipe by Stoned Citizen

Many stoners have been in a situation without a smoking device or rolling equipment. Cannabis consumers have thought of new, innovative and creative ways to spark up that holy herb over the years. You might have heard of a gravity bong, perforated a stepped-in cooldrink can or rolled up with a page from the good book. Regardless of whether you are in a crisis or looking to learn a few party tricks, look no further than your fruit and vegetable basket! You can create a world-class fruit bong using a few common household tools. Once you have mastered basic pipe or one-hitter style pipes, move on to bigger and better designs! 

Pot Press
Stoner Life Hacks Homemade Rosin Press

Cannabis rosin is great for dabbing and has been making waves as of late in the cannabis community. By using a solventless extraction technique anybody can make high-quality hash oil! You will need to have a hair straightener, some parchment paper and your broken down cannabis flower or harvested kief. Place the cannabis in the fold of a sheet of parchment paper and apply light pressure with the medium-hot hair iron. The rosin will start sizzling within a few seconds as it melts out of the plant material. Be careful, it is hot! Grab your dabbing tool and spark up the torch, it is time to dab your very own homemade rosin.

Few are as creative as a stoner with an idea, let us know which are your favourite Stoner Life Hacks, and how it has helped you out of a potentially sticky situation in the past.

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  1. Pingback: Gifts For Ganja Grower - Pot Presents To Spoil That Special Stoner!

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